How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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