Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
