You're completely useless in the revolution.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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