His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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