I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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