We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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