i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I don't deserve a penis
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
