...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
