no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
