is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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