Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
