Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
