just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
