oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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