you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
