So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wish you could order shots online.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
