OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
