Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
