her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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