Plan B is the new Plan A
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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