Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
