Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
