I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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