What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
why is half of my head shaved?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
