what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Randomize
