Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
