turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
