It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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