just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
