No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I puked a lego.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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