im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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