No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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