Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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