my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
