I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
