it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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