i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
