I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
