the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
