wat bout pragnant strippers??
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
