Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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