she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
