i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
