how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize