I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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