Whoa Z and x make the same sound
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize