I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
