He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
