I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
