my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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