I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Can I color on your dick again?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
