it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
