if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
