Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
