Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
