Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
