I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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