You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
