ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I love you. Go after that dick
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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